Mr. Raymond Yang (17/Government and Public Administration) co-founded “JUST FEEL”, a nonprofit organization with two other CUHK alumni in 2018, with an aim to transform the communication culture in schools and families to enhance the emotional well-being of children in Hong Kong. The establishment of “JUST FEEL” is closely related to Raymond’s upbringing, university life and teaching experience.

1. Could you tell us something about your family background and upbringing?

Raymond Yang: “I grew up in a disharmonious grassroots family with parents who were not good at showing affection, which often led to disputes and even violence. I felt suffocated and desperate as a child and even thought of suicide for several years until I was re-parented. I joined the Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups (HKFYG) in Secondary Three, which contributed to my basic sense of security and dignity. I was free to learn what I liked, and HKFYG gradually became my ‘home’ where I felt safe and could express myself freely. I learned to recognize and accept my emotional needs, gradually built up self-confidence and successfully entered CUHK. However, my childhood trauma still has a significant impact on me. Recently, I have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and have to undergo multiple treatments. It indicates that parents and teachers could have a lifelong impact on children’s physical, psychological, social and spiritual health.”

2. Could you share with us your memorable experience at the College and CUHK?

Raymond Yang: “Sure. I have had many memorable experiences during my years at the College. One of my most unforgettable experiences was my relationship with my late classmate, Albert Cheung. I once served as the President of New Asia Student Association and one of my committee members, Albert committed suicide half a year after graduation. A few months before his death, he told me about his family conflicts and job-hunting difficulties beside the University Swimming Pool. I did not know how to listen and accompany him at that time, but just followed my family’s communication patterns and kept making suggestions. I failed to empathize with him, let alone realize that he had clammed up already. This experience left me with a lot of pain and guilt for a few years. As a result, in early 2017, I started reading books about psychology and counselling, and finally encountered ‘compassionate communication’.”

3. Could you tell us about your teaching experience at “Teach For Hong Kong”?

Raymond Yang: “After graduating from CUHK in 2017, I worked as a project teacher of ‘Teach For Hong Kong’ and as a deputy class teacher of a Primary Three class. Once a student had an emotional outburst during class, but he did not know how to express himself or respond to my consolations. Some teachers would scold the students, ‘Don’t cry! Shut up!’, but it would only worsen the situation. Students would be severely punished if they left their seats, and even when they did sit down they did not understand the meaning of the school rules. I started to wonder how other schools and the education system as a whole dealt with emotional education. Therefore, another project teacher and I invited the school principal and the director of guidance and discipline to visit a well-experienced psychiatrist, Dr. Joseph Cheng, who specialized in promoting compassionate communication in Taiwan, in the hope of improving the physical, psychological and spiritual health of Hong Kong’s teenagers.”

4. Could you briefly introduce the mission and work of “JUST FEEL”?

Raymond Yang: “Two other CUHK alumni, Matthew Kwok and Anthony Ngai, and I co-founded ‘JUST FEEL’ in 2018. With the motto ‘Connection Before Solution’, we empower educators to embrace feelings and needs, and cultivate a culture of compassionate communication in primary schools. Compassionate communication, also known as ‘nonviolent communication’ is developed by American psychologist Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. He believed that most people communicate in ways that unconsciously involve hurt and violence, often replacing objective description with subjective judgment. Habitual sayings such as ‘You’re so stupid!’ or ‘You’re so useless!’ could actually be hurtful. Every behavior and emotion is based on our own needs. If we can change the way we speak or listen, we can truly respond to each other’s needs in the process of communication.”

5. Is there anything you would like to share with the community?

Raymond Yang: “In the long run, I hope our society can accept our different feelings and needs, and everyone will be able to laugh, cry, and face each other sincerely. I would also like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to those who have walked with me through this journey, especially my ex-girlfriends who often accepted my different traumatic responses, as well as the two co-founders and all the members of ‘JUST FEEL’ who gave me the courage to face the wounds that I have been hiding from healing. Every breath we take in the present moment is an exercise to return to our inner self, just like the English proverb goes, ‘To honor the distance we have travelled to meet ourselves.’ I am also working on building bridges to connect my inner islands.”

Don’t miss Raymond’s full interview in the January 2023 issue of New Asia Life Monthly (link)!